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17/05/2020

Who Am I Really?

The question I often ask myself.

Sometimes I feel like I lost my life somewhere in the middle building my own. Building yourself is ok but being in the process for long is no doubt that it being stupid.

I don’t have a solid social media presence to share that I am alive enough. Uggh.. I want to stop here about I don’ts.

Logically, if I think all the things that I have built or gathered, sometimes I feel like it is all made to just show off. I feel like I did it just to show that I am cool enough. But that doesn’t make any sense if you don’t showcase your “claimed skills” in front of the crowd. They will think that you are a fake guy or shy.

And, I am shy, to be honest. but shy to the extent that not even bother to fulfil requests.

Why the hell I am shy. Why don’t I showcase what I go?

It even applies to this website. The website is just to showcase that I am skilful and I do care for personal branding. And I want to tell the world that I am a kind of writer. But it is not logically correct at all.

I even choose a Guru in life, not dare to follow him. The reason behind is I am lazy as well.

I don’t follow instructions strictly and I blame upon things that aren’t under my control.

Finally, I started going through inner engineering online. Now I am learning things again about life.

will I come out of this all odds?

Time will say. I need to maintain some consistency in the work that I choose to do.

Because, wherever I might be whatever I might be doing in my life. It is because of me and me alone. And my responsibility is unlimited.

I need to be alive and exuberant in my daily life. I should have things listed to do. I need to chase things seriously. With consistency.

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