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31/01/2020

It Was Always Me!! It Was Always Me!!

I did not get any other title than “It was always me!!” I want to stop complaining about things, people around me and what people think about me.

So, it was always me in my mind.

My mind is all that it thinks. I should not take it very seriously. No need to utter words when it doesn’t matter to someone. They don’t deserve your opinion. They want to feel that they are better than you.

So, if they feel happy knowing that they are better than you then what is wrong in that? If they seek pleasure feeling that they are better than you then you should feel happy that you made them feel happy.

I found a truth, I started to realize that it was always me who is responsible for all the problems that I had in my life. It was me and it was me alone.

Sadhguru says there is nothing right or wrong in life. It is all just a matter of choices you make. Your every breath, your every action, your very own way of thinking determines what you will become in the next 10 years. So, it is all in present. There is no future, nor there is any past. It is all happening right now. Your next 10 years are decided based on actions that you are taking right now.

I have to confess that I was trying to be someone. I was trying to prove someone that I am capable of something. Well, it was not me. I knew from the beginning that I no need to prove anyone. Yet I choose to pretend that I am good. I started giving advice to people who are in need without even understand what they are going through.

I have done a ton of mistakes. I have to accept it. Have to remain polite to my past and I should erase off all the karma with my very conscious action.

I was a fool to talk in between when someone is speaking. I was that fool who thought himself as an enlightened being, I was the person with the intention to show my powers to people around me.

Surely, I was dumb. Even now I feel that I am a dumb person. I am not perfect. I am constantly seeking something.

It all started when I was a kid. It was the time when our parents used to compare their kids among others, it happened more intensely in my life because I was too sensitive in nature. I started believing that I need to prove them wrong. I started to work upon things that were beyond my reach without knowing the proper way to deal with the problems.

So I was falling into more problems. I started blaming others. I started to scold people when they are not in front of me, I was complaining endlessly. I was becoming insane with my thoughts and emotions going crazy, and I was becoming pathetic every day. My thoughts and emotions are turned against myself.

I was failing every time when I wanted to prove something. I never worked for myself. Never understood what I actually needed what actually I am seeking.

Before the time when I was literally not worried what people might think about my progress I was silent. I was silent because I didn’t had required experience to speak in the crowd and people in the crowd started to comment on me saying that I am silent. I started to hate when people call me silent, soft-spoken, and no matter what. I don’t like negative words. I just can’t take negative words on myself.

But the question is are they really negative words? Nope, they are not. They are positive words that are used negatively to categorize my personality.

Over time, I developed a habit of resisting things that people said to me.

Conclusion: As you see every step that I took. Every thought process I had in the past were all real when I put it out. So, it is all-inclusive. The very nature the life is inclusive. When you have a peaceful mind and emotions. They change to haven. When you give up your ideology of being someone who you are not, everything changes.

We need to accept life the way it comes to us. no need to react negatively. If you need positivity in life be positive.

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